Resume Bloopers

We’ve collected a few Resume Bloopers for your amusement. These real life blunders reinforce one of the key principles of resume writing. Proofread it, re-read it again, then get someone else to read it. Hope you find these as funny as we did:

 Resume Bloopers

Profile: “I am an experienced accountant with over 10 ears experience in the industry”

Hobbies: “I enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians

Skills: “highly experienced in all faucets of finance”

Skills: “Project Manager with ‘extensive steak holder management skills”

Skills: “Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail

Achievements: “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year”

Work Experience: “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse

Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”

Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”

Profile: “I am great with the pubic

The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application.

One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.

Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.

Application included a nine-page cover letter accompanied by a four-page résumé.

Responsibilities: “Revolved customer problems and inquiries”

Achievements: “Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget”

Education: “Finished eighth in my class of ten”

“Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave”

Achievements: “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store”

Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors

Objective: “I want to play a major part in watching a company advance”

Experience: “Chapter president, 1887-1992”

Experience: “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”

Languages Spoken: “Fluent in English and Spinach

Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”

Objective: “My dream job would be as a professional baseball player, but since I can’t do that, I’ll settle on being an accountant.”

Profile: “Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”

Profile: “I procrastinate – especially when the task is unpleasant.”

Objective: : “I am a Pastry Chef looking to establish myself in a full time roll…”

Capabilities: “I am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”

Cover letter: “Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!

Skills: “Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory.”

 

Sources: Resume Hell, Resumania, JobMob, HumorMatters, Angelfire and Careerbuilder

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